Going To War Without France Is Like...

...a Texas barbecue without a croissant.

...Marine Boot Camp without your Liza Minelli records.

...the ninth inning without your placekicker.

...the Normandy invasion without Yves St. Laurent.

...firing up your computer without a virus.

...holding a bachelor party without the bride.

...crossing the Sahara without a fishing pole.

...wearing a Speedo without suspenders.

...drinking iced tea without E. coli.

...attending a movie without five screaming babies.

...World War II. 'nuff said.

Gotta Love the French Political Cartoon 1

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the  Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes  through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

Gotta Love the French Political Cartoon 2

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once"---Missouri Republican Rep. Roy Blunt

"The French will only agree to go to war in Iraq after we've proven we've found truffles there."---Dennis Miller

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Mac's than the Nazis?

An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

Gotta Love the French Political Cartoon 3

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows. They've never tried.

Q: Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
A: Germans like to march in the shade.

Q: What does the word "Maginot" mean in English?
A: "Welcome!"

You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."--Conan O'Brien

Some members of Congress are so upset with this thing with France that they want to impose trade sanctions against French products. They want to ban French products like Evian. And you thought Hollywood celebrities were against the war before.....!"

Gotta Love the French Political Cartoon 4

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ---Jay Leno

Q: What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A: "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."--David Letterman

Gotta Love the French Political Cartoon 5